When people tell a story of their childhood, my mind starts to panic. It does not look good when they share things with neighborhoods, fun things with friends. My heart shouted out loud and said that shut up all of you. For the people, the best part of life is childhood but not mine. For me, childhood is just a bad memory. ”
Deepa’s words can be judged from her discomfort. When Deepa (renamed name) was telling all this, only that much understood that he had lost some of the treasures, whose remorse he is still.
Today, Deepa is 26 years old but whatever happened to him at the age of 6, he is still inside him. Even in 20 years, this fear is sometimes exposed.
“They lived in our neighborhood,” says Deepa. If the clay was culture, then neighbors were not less than a relative. My mother was her sister in law. It was so close to both houses that it never felt that it was not our home. But overburdened, it prevents you from asking questions. Do not doubt. ”
These all started with the greed to rotate on the bicycle. Deepa used to call her brother She says, “I did not ever get upset to kiss her or put me in the lap. Even when it seemed to me, he used to sit in the lap in front of elders too, when he did not object, I would not have a 6-year-old girl. But a new game started from that night. ”
Deepa says, “I was getting wrong with me. Whenever he was alone in the house, wrong with me so wrong. She was not a rap but she was not even less than rap. I used to feel dirty during that time but they did not let me know how it was given to me that whatever they do is normal. Everyone does this. Everyone has a secret partner, which is not talked about. ‘
‘He was playing not only with my body, but also with the naïve, greedy mind to roam my brain and bicycle.’
Deepa says that it lasted for a long time but he never told anyone. The matter of ‘secret partner’ was thrown into something like this that there was no scope for him to inquire.
She says, ‘Dirt became a part of my life. Although I used to try to stay away from him but he used to call me beside the excuses. In that house there lived an elder brother of that man. That day he was alone in the house
I did not know why he would do the same with me. I quietly got in front of him like he was in front of his younger brother. But maybe they actually considered me as the sister-in-law’s daughter. Scolded and scolded. For the first time on that day I understood that what was happening was not normal. ‘
Deepa says that she does not remember how well they all were, but when they were leaving from that place, they were very happy.
‘Felt afraid to trust’
She says that she was all in her house but she loved them very much. He used to trust him with blindness and this was the biggest obstacle. He always thought that nobody would believe his point. Everyone will tell them the wrong.
‘There were sisters in my house, my brother was my parents, but I never dared to tell anyone. Even they still do not know this thing and I would never even tell them. They do not want to be embarrassed in their eyes. ‘
Deepa says that due to this childhood incident, she never made many friends. There was always the fear of cheating, and for this reason he often stayed alone. There was a fear that somewhere they would not have been AIDS. He treated the fear and then he got a test.
‘Trouble about marriage’
In today’s world, Deepa is a house-wife, but the beginning of this relationship was not easy. She says, ‘I was always afraid that if the person I got married to would know about this aspect of my life … but I did not hide the truth. Tell everything. Clearly They did not have any problem. He only said so, what happened was not your mistake. ‘
According to Deepa, the biggest challenge is to stay normal. Even today, on many occasions, they become uncomfortable. Many times behave a little non-normal, whose worst effect falls on those who live with them.
‘If you want the house, then such incidents can be stopped’
She believes that child abuse can only be stopped by the house holder. Referring to her case, she says that after a time, she was scared of going to that person. If their house had these notices, then they would have stopped all this long ago.
If there was a little investigation … but they did not pay attention. They did not feel anything strange, and this is the mistake most of the cases are. When we asked Deepa if he took help from a doctor, he said, no, no.
She says that many times that thought might go to the psychologist, but for that too people will have to tell a hundred things. The biggest problem is that people show condolences when listening, but then they tell people these things differently. The wound never fills.
Deepa says, “Children can not speak many things, but their actions all say, if needed, only to keep an eye on them. It is not so difficult too. I do not have any child yet but I know what happened to me, There will be nothing like that with him. I will not let it happen. He will know that his mother will believe in everything he does and he will not have to hesitate to speak anything. ”
‘I decided that I will not be silent’
‘Uncle loved all but I do not …’